I can't help but think if i did not want it so bad it would have already happened. I catch myself mourning for a family i don't have.
I have blogged before i did not have a very happy childhood and i have always dreamed of the family i would have when i "grew up". I took every home economics class i could in high school to prepare myself to be a good Wife and Mother. When we would have extra class time in my sewing class i loved to browse through the baby section of pattern books and dream about things i would make for my children. What room did i design for my final project in interior design class? yup! a baby nursery. I feel very naive i just assumed i would graduate, meet someone, and start a family.
But i know there is a promise! I know that my Heavenly Father loves me! I need to follow God's plan for me and he will lead me to true happiness! it may or may not include the family i so badly ache for, but i hold onto that tiny sliver of hope. I believe Heavenly Father is preparing that special someone for me or maybe i need a little bit more work and he is still preparing me!
Had it happened sooner maybe i would never have been baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints where hopefully i will be blessed to not only have a future family but an eternal family!
One of my favorite church hymns Love at Home