My Mom loved holidays and always made them special for us.
My last really happy Christmas was 2003, the one before she died.
I have blogged before it's not about receiving gifts, but that you feel remembered and apart of a family.
Technically I have family, but I am not part of a family unit.
This year has been extra tough.
This is the first Christmas in 10 years I have not decorated a thing. My Aunts came over and decorated the house for Granny this year.
Ever since I was a child I have loved to browse antique shops and thrift stores. Something about them comforts me. I enjoy looking, even if I don't buy anything. Usually for Christmas Mom would go back and buy me something old I have been admiring in one of the antique shops.
I am always browsing about Salvation Army on my lunch break. The workers there are so nice and they do such good work in our community. It's very sweet that they remember me. A lady told me "I just love to see the things you buy." that particular day I bought an old handmade apron and a 1950's purse for my Aunt. Another day "Where is your bright lipstick today?" "More books for you and Granny today?" Last week as I was checking out with some beautiful vintage gloves the worker said "we saved something for you!" They had put back and given me a very old cookbooks for Christmas. When I got back in my car I started crying. The sweetest gift anyone has every given me, and could not have come at a much needed time. Just the fact that they know "you like the old stuff" and remembered me. I could't help thinking just maybe my Mother knew I needed this little act of kindness this year. I felt her spirit close to me this holiday season and it was comforting and helped me to get by.